International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia (IDAHOBIT)
Post written by Dr Obren Amiesimaka, Justine Hawley and Atreya Madrone, Gender and Sexual Diversity Group Members at RRC Polytech.
May 17th every year is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia (IDAHOBIT). This year, we hear three voices speaking about its importance.
What does IDAHOBIT mean to you?
- I think that this day acknowledges the fight for acceptance, the people who face adversity because of bi-, homo-, transphobia, and a reminder that we are still here and that we all need to do our part to keep hate from spreading.
- Solidarity. IDAHOBIT is a day to remember 2SLGBTQIA+ folx who have died due to homo-, bi- or trans- phobia (the murdered and those who anti-queer hostility made die or chose their exit). IDAHOBIT calls us to be intentional in building a world that is respectful of the rights of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community – a world free from homo-, bi- or trans- phobia.
- In an ideal world, IDAHOBIT would be a day of action to commit to addressing homo-, bi-, and transphobia. I struggle with days like IDAHOBIT, as they often seem a performative way to acknowledge systemic violence without doing anything about it. What does it mean to have so many days acknowledging marginalized communities throughout the year, but we very rarely see widespread, systemic change that directly benefits those communities? Perhaps this IDAHOBIT can be a conversation starter to make real change in our communities and institutions.
What does homo-, bi-, trans- phobia mean to you?
- I believe that bi/homo/transphobia comes from misunderstanding, ignorance, or hate. Not everyone who exhibits bi/homo/transphobic behaviour is a bad person, I think there are truly some people who simply do not know better. There are some that are raised to think and believe one thing but once they learn more about queer people and culture, they realize it’s not as big of a deal as others seem to think.
- When dealing with marginalised communities, people have a choice to either treat that community as the ‘other’ through the lens of hate, or to honour and respect them in love. The unwillingness to choose love is borne out in homo-, bi- and trans- phobia, but loving is much easier.
- Homo-, bi-, and trans-phobia to me is a form of systemic violence that is part of our built environment and institutions. They are cornerstones of white supremacy and settler colonialism. While individuals perpetuate these systems, ultimately, they are machines designed to force conformity and keep certain people excluded.
How have you been impacted by homo-, bi-, trans- phobia?
- I was raised with the idea that bisexuality isn’t real, you’re gay or straight and that homosexuality is fine… but still gross. It was difficult coming to terms with the fact that I was bisexual. I was afraid that I was a degenerate that couldn’t fully commit, that I was probably just gay and pretending to like the opposite sex, or that I was actually straight and looking for attention. None of these things are true, they were harmful stereotypes that I had grown up with. This led to a lot of self-doubt, feeling isolated, and a delayed acceptance of myself. While not a unique experience to queer people, it was difficult. I had many queer friends who were out and proud and I didn’t feel like I had the right to be in queer spaces.
- Amongst others, the impact has been due to the lack of laws respecting 2SLGBTQIA+ rights in some countries I’ve lived in or visited. Over 60 countries criminalise 2SLGBTQIA+ folx. Hence, when I have been unable to avoid such places, I have borne the extra burden of making efforts to maximise my personal safety whilst in-country. This is an example of the oft-unseen challenges that 2SLGBTQIA+ folx face besides other intersectional hurdles in just living life.
- Everyone is impacted by homo-, bi-, trans- phobia, whether they know it or not. Hetero- and cis-normativity (the idea that everyone should be straight, cisgender, and match strict definitions of what that means), impacts mine and everyone’s ability to fully explore and express themselves. In more tangible ways, homo-, bi-, trans- phobia impacts me every day as I try to find a bathroom, fill out paperwork, or talk about my partner.
What does a world without homo-, bi-, trans- phobia look like to you?
- A world without bi/homo/transphobia is a world with no questions asked. A trans woman wants to join a sports team, a gay man and his husband want to adopt a child and grow their family; a bisexual person isn’t questioned about the validity of their sexuality based on a partner’s gender.
- In such an ideal world, being 2SLGBTQIA+ would be absolutely unremarkable and universally treated the same way as being heterosexual and cis-gendered. This would be reflected in everything from language and culture to faith and norms, and importantly in the law. However, the words of Rev Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. are instructive: “It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important.” Hence, a good start would be a world where 2SLGBTQIA+ folx have truly equal rights enshrined in the laws of every nation.
- White supremacy and settler colonialism dismantled! Land back! 2SLGBTQIA+ people honored, valued, and respected! More queer and trans elders! More queer and trans children!
What kinds of homo-bi-transphobic myths would you like to dispel?
- The only gay agenda that is happening is the ongoing joke that one even exists. We’re people, we want to work in a safe environment, we want to love who we choose without societal pressure, we want to live in peace and just enjoy our lives.
- No one can make anyone 2SLGBTQIA+. There are no ‘recruitment’ efforts; not Pride, not queer folx just living out and proud, not having queer groups in schools, nothing! More people openly identify as 2SLGBTQIA+ today because of the hard-won advancements in equality for the community and nothing else.
- I would like to dispel the myth that you can know someone’s gender or sexuality by how they look, what their pronouns are, or what their name is. Gender and sexuality are things everyone experiences inside their own mind and bodies (I always like to say there are as many experiences of gender and sexuality as there are people in the world). Because of that, you do not know someone’s gender or sexuality until they tell you.
What advice would you give to help people uphold the spirit of IDAHOBIT?
- Just be kind. It’s really that simple. Let people love who they want, express themselves in the way they choose, and let people have the freedom to be who they want.
- Choose love. Choose the option that respects, elevates and loves your 2SLGBTQIA+ neighbours as your equals.
- Concrete actions would be to use people’s correct pronouns and names. When meeting people, don’t assume their or their potential partner’s gender. Introduce yourself with your name and pronouns every time. Beyond that, truly begin to examine your thoughts and actions. Break down hetero- and cis-normativity in your brain and belief system. Start small by thinking about your own gender and sexuality. What does it mean to you? Where did you learn it?