Live Life Your Way by Mario De Negri

March 3, 2014

When I went to university half way into the school year, I still hadn’t found that feeling of being in stride with it. I understood the routine of getting up for classes and making sure I caught my bus at the same time every time, I felt the stress of workload piling up on me and I could barely see a any free moments to spend time just relaxing and not thinking, just still being young and having fun.

I thought my January resolutions would’ve held out but who was I kidding. I knew it would be the same pattern as every time I tried years before which, even just that thinking had already set me up for failure. I knew that if I was to succeed with what I wanted out of life I had to really take a good look at myself. Really see who I was and face some of the unwanted answers that might be me. This would mean I would have to make some tough decisions as well as maybe change the way I live and recognize some patterns.

Here are some tips which have helped me and still to this day have made my life one that I design for myself and not something that others have programmed for me.

1)     Just Do It

One thing that stops most of us is just doing something, anything. What should I do? How should I do it?  Just the momentum of movement will lead us to answers we seek as long as we remain detached to the outcomes and remain focused on ourselves. Energy creates energy. Fears will be there and barriers will come but with just a simple step towards what you want will bring you that much closer to that bliss we all chase.  This one step will also create emotions within ourselves which when are in line with our true path lift us up and will help carry us further down the path of our dreams. However if you deal with any type of anxiety for example this can seem like a huge deal. It’s easier said than done. Work on being gentle with yourself, and working on non-judgment. If you can find yourself at a point where you can forgive yourself for doing nothing you are on the right track to getting into doing something. There is no race in life. You are on your own timeline which can give you that sense of freedom and relieve some of the pressures on ourselves.

2)     Step by Step

Try to picture a set of stairs and your goal is sitting at the top. In order to get there you first need to take one step. Don’t even think about how many steps there are, just focus on getting your two feet on that one step. Then move one to the next one. Jumping from the bottom of the stairs to the top for sure seems impossible and in most cases it is. So coming from a place of awareness you can see that it is not the top you are after but the next step. Do not overwhelm yourself because all small things lead to great things. Just do what needs to be done to bring you closer and keep that routine as it will become “normal” living just as all we’ve done to this point has become “normal” living.

3)     Redefine Normal

Normal is what normal does. It’s crazy to think that I might be abnormal, but really what does that all mean? All of my life people have told me what normal is, how to behave normal. That being single right now in my life is not normal, that if I don’t follow the pack then I’ll get left behind. This is all a state of conditioning that people have passed down over the years based on a sense of belonging for fear of being alone as well as learnt benefits. Yes we need to learn from those who have come before us as they have learnt lessons that now we need not repeat.  However, you are your own person and are allowed to follow your own light. Do not let others judgments, especially your own, steer you away from the true you, the one you seek.  Being a world traveling artist this was one of the hardest and still redefining tips of my life to really keep in mind that normal for me is not always normal for another but I’ll still be just fine.

4)     Get Involved

Get into things. Do as much as you can with things that you are passionate about. Join clubs, groups, forms, sites, do whatever you can to start creating a new “normal” in your world where when you once went to check your email you had a would have messages from one or two random things you delete anyways cause you don’t really care to now you have an inbox with a variety of different topics which you want to be involved in. Don’t worry about how much you can keep up with all these things because you never can. There is way too much information to take in then to process, but the more immersed you are what little you do process will grow and be added to your database. This goes from everything from getting into a new genre of music, learning to play a new instrument or getting into a more active and healthier lifestyle.

5)     Buddy System

Surround yourself with people who are also following a similar path you wish to be on. There are so many people in the world and being such social creatures we thrive in environments where there are others who have a common goal. Talk to someone in your class who you might see is involved in something you want to get into. Find someone to workout with cause it can be very difficult to start a new life pattern on your own. I know for me I won’t work out alone so I have done everything to paying trainers, joining classes and teams as well as always having a gym partner. People often say why would I hire a trainer if I’m one myself? My ego gets a bit rocked with that question but I always remember I am human first and not defined by what I do with my life as those change over time. I know my strengths are being that person to help other get what they want in life, but my weakness is not being able to do it for myself. Nothing wrong with that, I just learnt to work with it by finding other options. Now I’ve strengthened those weaknesses while still getting what I want out of my life.

The truth that I’ve found at this point is that there is no clear way. No one way for all to be well. We all need to find it within ourselves to feel out what we need. It looks different in so many different situations. Being aware of how our present actions are effecting out future self is such an important tool to learn but it comes at the cost of objectively looking at ourselves through real eyes and this will expose some things we might not want to accept about ourselves or believe they are there. Learning to see these as just a part of living and being nonjudgmental on ourselves will help carry us towards greater things. Our ego is fragile and will try to gain control at all costs. Let it go and accept the world as it is and there is where you will find yourself free to be whomever you choose.

Mario De Negri is the Fitness Coordinator for Rebels Athletics and Recreation Services.